come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
