Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
