yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
