Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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