In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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