Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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