SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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