Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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