what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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