Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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