He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
