Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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