i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
