We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
