I wanna bring you to show and tell
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
