that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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