she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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