She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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