I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize