I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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