Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize