It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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