At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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