i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
too bad you live with your parents still
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
