How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
