Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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