Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I forgot how hot balto sounded
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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