For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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