You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize