I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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