so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
