2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
There are leaves in my underwear?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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