I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize