I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
