20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize