Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
