I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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