whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
