sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
