If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
