best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
