It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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