aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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