I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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