Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
