this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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