is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
