yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
No more Irish car bombs ever.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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