Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Randomize
