I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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