he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
