I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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