so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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