We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
