She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"