Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.