I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
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i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.