A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection