He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
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okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
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We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.