Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
