Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
